"Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong."
James Norrington reached over and pulled his alarm clock off the nightstand.
"Five thirty? What manner of uncivilized…" He sat up and looked out the window into the almost-dawn.
Marching from a trio of vans parked in the street were dwarves with shovels and pick-axes. He threw open the window and stuck his head out.
"Shut the bloody %&!# up!"
A dwarf with orange hair looked up and yelled in a deep voice. "Would you rather we whistle?"
"I'd rather you shut up! Who are you anyway?"
"We're dwarves, you dolt."
"You're not Disney dwarves, yet you sing and whistle."
"You pick up things when traveling with an elf." Said the dwarf with a grin. "I am Gimli, son of Gloin and these are my cousins, Balin and Dwalin, sons of Fundin." He motioned to a pair of equally gruff-looking dwarf brothers beside him. "All the dwarf-folk here are of Durin's Folk."
"Gimli!" Legolas leaped from the window of his ground level flat and ran to hug the dwarf. "What are you doing here?"
James groaned and shut the window before pulling on a robe and going into the kitchen. Javert was already up and making coffee for Jareth and Erik who sat at the table.
"Coffee, Jamie?" Javert asked.
"No, I'll make some tea."
The singing from outside continued as the unfortunate four ate breakfast. A huge truck rumbled up the street and the sound of digging started. Next came a knock on the door and Javert got up and answered it.
Outside stood an angry Sarah and Christine; behind them Sweeny Todd leaned against the wall, flicking his razor blade open and shut.
"Ladies." He said, "and Mr. Todd, it's a little early, don't you think?"
"The construction workers don't think it's early." Sarah scowled. "We need to talk."
"Come in." Javert held the door open and then shut it behind the odd trio. "I'd like to know who sent those dwarves just as well as anyone else here."
"I think Jean-Claude hired them." Jareth said as a goblin lacky delivered a second plate of bacon and eggs to him. "He mentioned going into business with my Aunt Yubaba to open a bathhouse next door."
"I don't care who he thinks he is, Jean-Claude should ask us before he has workers arrive this early in the morning," James said. "It just isn't civilized."
"I agree," Christine said. "We should go talk to Jean-Claude."
"I think we should ask who they're working for before we go bothering the vampires." Sweeny made an aggravated flicking motion with his razor. "They don't die like normal people."
So the brave band of anit-heros and she-heros trooped down stairs and outside. Gimli and Legolas sat under a tree smoking pipes, talking happily of adventures past.
"Gimli, son of Gloin, who are you working for?" James asked.
"The vampire Jean-Claude. It's hard to get work in excavation these days." Gimli shrugged.
"Exactly how deep are you excavating?"
The dwarf smiled. "You will see."
"Let's go talk with Jean-Claude." Christine said and led the group away.
"I don't think he's awake yet." Gimli warned.
"Oh, we're going to wake him up." Sarah said as they went back inside.
Ten minutes of banging on Jean-Claude's door failed to elicit a response from the vampire within and finally Sarah pulled out a willow wand.
"Alohomora!" Sarah flicked her wand at the lock.
The lock opened with a pop and the group gasp.
"Sarah! That's magic!" Jareth hissed.
"Luna's been teaching me." Sarah pulled the door open and flicked on a light inside. "How'd you expect me to keep control of my half of the Labyrinth?"
"Does this mean you accept?!!!" Jareth practically squealed.
"No." Sarah stepped into the basement, Christine on her heels.
It was deathly still inside, not even the wall curtains moved as they made their way into the deeper reaches of the basement.
"This way." Jareth said, spying the sitting room where he'd met with Jean-Claude. "He came from back here…" The Goblin King pulled back the curtain and led the way down a short hallway to Jean-Claude's room.
Behind the curtain the group found an orgy-sized bed draped in black silk and some sort of black fur. Asher lay there with Jean-Claude spooned against his chest.
"Asher? Jean-Claude?" Jareth knelt on the bed and shook Asher's shoulder. The vampire was cold to the touch, neither of them stirred as Jareth shook them.
"I don't think they're the same kind of vampire as Edward and Alice." Javert said finaly, "Perhaps they'll wake at sunset like vampires should."
The sun was almost at the horizon when an explosion shook the apartment. Jareth looked out his window as a fireball blossomed from the pit and dwarves scrambled up the sides.
"What happened?" Erik asked, running to the window.
"What happens when dwarves delve too deeply?" Legolas answered from the limb tree outside, his bow in hand. Jareth and Erik gave him questioning looks and the elf sighed. "Haven't you seen the movie?"